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Welcome to the world of unicorns.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

The Truth About Tattoos - It'll Spoil Your Outfit!



When I was a kid (back in the sixties, but don’t tell anyone), tattoos were extremely popular with sailors who acquired them in foreign ports, particularly in the orient.  They tended to depict anchors, eagles, swallows, girls in hats, dice, ships, or dragons. Oftentimes the name of their sweetheart was inscribed, creating a potential problem later on if they changed girlfriends and married.


I still remember a couple of my uncles hiding tattoos under their shirt sleeves, embarrassed at what they’d done on the spur of the moment in their youth, and I remember my mother whispering to my brothers with fearsome eyes, “Don’t ever get one, or else.” They never did.

Today, it’s a huge fad – a fashion that permeates all ages and professions and…even gender. Yes, it’s true. Women are now among the throngs of people lining up for the gruelling, painful procedure called tattooing, howling with pain as the stylus breaks through their skin ejecting little bits of ink, and icing their bodies for days afterward. Everywhere you see them. From my niece with the yin and yang on her lower back, to my cousin Paul, who has a very artsy scene of Chinese folklore down his front and back, to our orthodontist’s assistant who has a dyed bracelet with her sons’ names inscribed, and to my cousin Michele whose deceased husband is forever immortalized on her wrist.


But there are problems with tattoos. Apart from the fact they’re painful, there’s the threat of infection, plus they're permanent. That means your tattoo will be there until the day you die. Worse than that, though, is something that a lot of women are simply not thinking through. Girls, it can spoil your outfit! That’s right. You heard me. It’ll spoil your outfit! You’ll spend the rest of your life, trying to match your clothing to your tattoo.

Let’s take for example, this very loud sweater I bought in Australia for $200 – the one my husband tried to talk me out of. Here it is.


Now, you see all those colours? I figured it would match with just about anything since it bears a strong resemblance to Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Coat and he was a stylish guy, right? And it does, so long as they’re solid colours. But what if I want to wear a floral pattern or paisley, or even plaid? Big clash. Serious eye sore. And the same will happen to you and your tattoo. Are you really ready to limit your wardrobe? Because you’ll have to. Unless your tattoo is in a hidden spot on your back or under your sleeves, it’ll ruin your ensemble. You’ll either be hiding it or wearing solid colours for the rest of your life. Now if you can live with that, or simply don’t care if it matches, then by all means, go out and get one. Withstand the terrible pain and bruising. Risk infection. Go ahead and have those rose gardens, baby faces, and fancy designs, engraved on your body, but just remember, you’re stuck with it for good.

As for me? I’ll stick with henna tattoos. They only last about two weeks, plus they’ll match my loud sweater and anything else I choose to wear.










10 comments:

  1. Suzanne, I'll stick to tattoos you get in bubble gum! Lol. That's the only kind I'll ever want.

    I think many people when they get older will be sorry they've gotten tattoos. To me they aren't appealing at all. To each his own...I guess.

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    1. Haha, Susan. Me too. It's just too permanent for my tastes. I'd get tired of my tattoo pretty quickly, I dare say. And then I wouldn't be able to stick it into the bag for Big Brothers or whatever charities. But it sure is a fad.

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  2. I agree Suzanne. It's also quite telling that so many celebrities are now undergoing expensive laser treatment to have them removed. Not everyone can afford to cancel out their mistakes so easily. Whoever invents a dissolving ink that disappears after a year or so will make a fortune.

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    1. Wow! I didn't know that, Anita. But I think you're right about the disappearing ink. But the nice thing about tattoos is that it's a great way for artists to make money.

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  3. haha, Suzanne, you are what's known in some parts as one classy broad. I bet you look fabulous in that sweater. My mother and I drove across Canada one summer when I was 14. I had pigtails, dirty, bare, feet, and black eyeliner. We entered this quaint restaurant, I sat down at the table near the window. My mother took one look at me and kept going. She chose a table on the far side of the room. At the time, not funny at all! Haha.

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    1. Ps. I have tattooed eyebrows. The only person who has ever noticed is my oldest son. He thought it was kewl.

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    2. I bought the sweater because I had wanted to 16 years before on our honeymoon. I couldn't justify spending $200 on a sweater then, but this time, I thought, "I have to have it!" So after dropping off the boys (hubby included), I walked all the way back and bought it. Then I proceeded to hide it from everyone for three days.

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    3. I've thought of getting my eyeliner tattooed, but I seem to be able to wear eyeliner again without my eyes puffing up. Turns out I was allergic to hair dye.

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  4. What a terrific tell-all on tattoos. I might add. the tattoos do interfere with your outfit. One example is the gal on American Pickers. Her art work clashes with about everything she wears! I have none. I never got my ears pierced either. No needles for me! Yes, I do get my flu shot every year though.

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    1. Oh, darn it all. That's what I forgot this morning -- my flue shot.

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